Disclaimer: You need to buy me a coffee to understand what I have written, or I buy you a coffee so you throw on me else you won’t understand.
Human beings are the most peculiar species of nature’s creation. Out of all the natural creation he has been ability think beyond planets, galaxies and universes. Human beings have been innovating and evolving since time immemorial. The beauty of creation is that every human being it has produced until now is unique. Even between twins, some differences can be faintly observed. It is so fascinating about the supreme being that has made every individual on this planet unique. We do not know what extra-terrestrial forces and beings exist beyond our planet and being fact that how would they look like. For this context of thoughts, let us assume that we are the only living beings on mother Earth. The Human subconscious mind masters and controls all the activities of the individual. It not only has control over emotions and reactions how we behave but also our involuntary and voluntary functions of the body. For example, if you encounter a tiger suddenly while walking on the road, a fear factor starts to grow in your mind. This fear factor starts to make our brain commands the heart to pump blood faster, dilate our pupils and rush adrenaline. And following, give strength to our legs to run from that place to make ourselves from not becoming a meal to the tiger. This is the capacity of the human mind. We are not going to talk about the sub-conscious mind here, but since you have managed to read this post till here :D, understanding I would recommend the reader to read, ‘The power of your subconscious-mind’. Very nice book to start on understanding and mastering our mind.
Many noblemen and women have walked this earth by showcasing their unique talent and elevating their identity. It is always that one unique feature, character, or identity of that particular person makes one develops a sense of interest in them. This sense of interest gradually led to building relationships that end branding the person for who or she is. But we all must know we wear a lot of hats according to the situations we encounter. Say we go to work we wear a work hat, we are in a social gathering, we wear a social-gathering hat. Hat here should be treated here as a metaphor for the face, body language, and our very nature of presence at that place. Having said that, let us analyze a level down of wearing this hat culture. We develop relationships with others through the hat we wear. Sometimes we wear according to the mentality of the opposite person. Other times we wear just to avoid the influence of the opposite person. This also depends on the type of relationship we want to build. Many people do not recognize this nature and it happens involuntarily and within mind plays its trick to control our business of switching these hats. Socializing in a common nature of human beings. This hat-wearing nature of human beings sometimes goes wrong as a mistaken identity.
The ‘Oh’
We are bothered about our character that starts building in others’ minds. This normally happens when we meet strangers. We are clear an intention to build a rapport. When they start interaction slowly they recreate our character in their mind. After a couple of interactions, they would have completely established our character in their mind coining the word as ‘Opinion’. Once the foundation of ‘Opinion’ has solidified it takes a few more interactions to build the structure of ‘Relationship’. This Relationship structure undergoes a lot of renovation that is directly proportional to the genre of interaction. I am sure this happens around many people nevertheless they have observed this very deeply. I will illustrate a scenario to get a clear understanding. We have a friend always with whom we talk about movies. It would not be a general discussion but to the level of speculation where we put our hats of direction. Similarly, we have a person with whom we discuss spirituality, mystics and religion. The reason is simple, that we have built structures of topics in our minds where we try to solidify the opinion about the person based on his or her interest. Next time there is some gossip going in the film industry our subconscious set the frequency to that movie friend of yours throwing you into a pool of autosuggestions. The subconscious mind is so fabulous that we are unaware of the possibilities it can make happen in our lives. The entire structure I mentioned is now what the big nerds are trying implant in Artificial intelligence.
Coming back to the discussion I want to shift your attention towards the mistaken identity that I mentioned a few lines before. Given a scenario, I want to imprint my character the way I want with the stranger but the opinion structure changes for the stranger. If we want to build a connection we need to mold the opinion in their mind properly before it solidifies. Once the opinion solidifies no matter what post interactions happen the person stands, remembers, visualizes, retrospects standing on the foundation of opinion. If you have solidified the opinion of being smart and selfish but you want to be viewed as caring and lovable then you land up in deep trouble. I know at this stage of reading you have already started to hate me, but please bear for a few more readings as I clear up the mess. You would ask me ‘why do you bother about what others’ have an opinion about you?’. Being a rhetorical question, I would be answering that we are not bothered about every person we care to interact but only those people whom you want to build a relationship.
The ‘Ice’
Understanding the opinion the former person has about us, defines our ‘Intention’. This ‘Intention’ slowly turns into an obsession if one turns to analyze the former’s mindset. The entire process of relationship starts to take a turn as if you have been traveling on an inclined road that has a long turn. This happens because you would not have imagined that the opinion structure the other person has built upon neither reflects the true nature of you nor the image you wanted to solidified in the former’s mind.
At this stage, the relationship can turn in two ways depending on your personality. If you have an extroverted personality then, things turn straight forward as you find ways to convince the person to renovate the foundation of ‘opinion’ the person has on you. If you have an introverted personality then, things get messier maybe not at the initial stage but sooner you will realize the path becomes murky with ifs and buts. The mind turns analytical by testing each stone on that we step next praying it doesn’t sink. Introverts open a thinking engine to find ways to convince the other person to change their opinion. Should we break the ice or eye the oh?
The ‘See’
Now the mind has become the sea of endless possibilities processed in batch through the thinking engine. Now you decide the way to remove the mold of opinion on the former’s mind carefully by not disrupting the rest of the structure. The challenge here is for both the extrovert and the introvert. One cannot easily shake this opinion by direct approach or wait too long to tell before the person starts building other structures on the top of the ‘Opinion’ foundation. Here I’m not persuading anyone to do this instead I’m bringing out the scenarios that are likely to happen and get effected. At the moment if we have found a way to convince the former person to change his perspective of looking us in the way we want. Irrespective of the reaction the former person post you have convinced, the mainframe of Opinion is now broken. We did not manage to break the ice, but we formed the ice to break the Oh. This shattered opinion can be recreated by the former person now since the ball is in his court. The structure of opinion is shattered into pieces but each of those pieces has a partial affinity towards each other, leading to the formation of ‘memories’ lifetime. Imagine space junk floating aimlessly confined in a 3-dimensional space with boundaries. They do not have any meaning but rather aimlessly hit the boundaries and bounce back when they hit those boundaries. When the boundaries are hit it is at that moment the former person visualizes a glimpse of the moment being with you. With the increase in degrees of freedom so does the molecular chaos increase. I remember my physics tutor explaining about degrees of freedom back in school. By Analogy, more the memory debris more the chaos. This chaos leads to ‘confusion’.
Let’s wrap up
The main insight that I could draw from this discussion is that building a structure of opinions to form a relationship is ought not to be done forcefully rather the way has to be through natural selection. Too much planning in these areas should not become an obsession and destroy the main intent of forming a beautiful bond.
Hence, it’s not ‘OH ICE SEE’, its ‘NOW EYE SEE’.
I would love to challenge my readers to recognize the hidden meaning of the title of the blog post and post them in the comments section. Keep supporting me to write more posts. Cheers:)